


Dragon Heartstring, Werewolf Tooth

by lysanatt



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Disability, Dragon Riders, Dragons, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-10
Packaged: 2017-11-07 10:59:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lysanatt/pseuds/lysanatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a mission to Romania, Remus Lupin finds a man he believed to be dead. The unexpected meeting leads to more, but is there a future for a werewolf and a paralysed Potions master?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dragon Heartstring, Werewolf Tooth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [red_day_dawning](https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_day_dawning/gifts).



> Beta by the lovely Imma. From a prompt provided by my darling red_day_dawning: _After Voldemort's defeat, Lupin visits Charlie at the dragon-sanctuary, only to find a familiar Potions Master, who had been thought dead, working there. Snape has been greatly changed/damaged/disabled by Nagini's venom_.

**Dragon Heartstring, Werewolf Tooth**

The dragon hovered on the upwind for a while; the sunlight playing over its metallic scales, making the green turn blue and turquoise and forest green where the shadow of the huge wings hit. It was a beautiful creature, young and agile; its beauty only marred by a long scar running down one of the giant wings. Remus gasped as the dragon rider made the Welsh Green dive so fast against the ground that it looked like a lime-green, blurred arrow. Just before it hit the ground, it screamed, a high dissonant cry, and turned, faster than the wind, throwing itself into a loop that took it high up on the tall Romanian summer sky.

'They are impressive, aren't they?' Charlie Weasley asked and Remus startled, dragged out of his reverie. 'They fit very well together: they are equally unsociable.'

'Who's the rider?' Remus said, studying the pair. He held a hand up to protect his eyes from the sun. The rider was but a black silhouette against the sun. 'He looks strangely familiar.'

'So he does,' Charlie laughed. 'Let's go over to the landing and you can see for yourself.'

The huge dragon circled a few times before the rider let it shoot into a steep dive, making it use the large, leathery wings to lower the speed just before it landed; the muscular legs with long, strong clawed feet taking the ground with so much force it dug deep rifts in the dry earth. The Welsh Green flapped its wings a few times before it folded them tight against the body. Remus noticed clearly the long scar, running through the right wing from the top to the bottom. The thick skin was naked, without the glittering, protective scales where the wing had healed.

Charlie followed Remus' look. 'That's the reason they get on so well.' He pointed at the wing. 'Bird came to us a year ago; he had been torn up by an older male. Usually they don't get very tame when we get them this old, and one could argue that Bird is not.'

The dragon underlined that by glaring at Remus with its large, red eyes, letting out a narrow jet of blue flames in his general direction.

'Oi!' Remus shouted and stepped back. The black-clad rider slapped the beast with a heavy fur-lined glove, but didn't say anything.

'Do you want me to help you down, Severus?' Charlie asked looking up at the rider who sat quietly, waiting, wrapped in a black cloak and several scarves to protect him against the cold wind.

Severus? Remus' eyes snapped wide open. Severus? But it couldn't be? He felt the surge of hope disappear again. There were other people named Severus in the world, although no one like the Severus who had died in the war. No one. Remus stood silent, watching Charlie step closer when the man nodded his acceptance. He had placed a hand on the dragon's neck, as if to warn it not to try to attack Charlie. Weasley reached out and untied the strange stirrups, some leather attachments that seemed to support the man's legs. 'You ready?' Charlie asked and held out his arms to let the man slide down the dragon. Remus realised the man didn't have full use of his legs.

'Hold on,' Charlie said. 'I need to get my wand.'

Remus watched, wanting so very much to know, but he didn't dare to ask. Although, if hope could make wishes come true, it was Severus, and alive.

The man slid into Charlie's embrace, wrapping his arms around the dragon tamer's neck. A sudden gust of wind pulled the cloak's hood back and Remus stared into a pair of black eyes, glowing with an intensity that left no doubt: former Headmaster Snape was alive. Very much so. Remus' breath caught as Severus greeted him with nothing more than a raised eyebrow. The slight curl of a lip made Remus let out the breath he had been holding. At least Severus acknowledged his presence.

There were so many questions Remus wanted to ask, but he had to wait. Charlie held up Severus with one very muscular arm as he flicked his wand, casting a spell to let Severus' body float a few inches over the ground, his useless legs dangling limply as Charlie pulled him with him.

'Are you coming, Remus?' Charlie asked looking over his shoulder. 'You have a suitcase to unpack. Dinner is ready in half an hour.'

Remus shook his head lightly. This wasn't exactly what he had expected when Kingsley sent him to Romania to form a dragon squadron whose purpose would be a search for feral werewolves in the Forbidden Forest. He trailed along, watching Charlie's tender arm around Severus' thin waist. Charlie had known all this time? And why the bloody hell wasn't Severus Snape dead, and what was he doing in Romania? What had happened to him?

Charlie and Severus disappeared into one of the small cabins. Remus didn't follow. Why would he? He replied to his own question with the unlikely thought that he had missed Severus. He had missed the brilliant sarcasm, the connection to their childhood, even if the memories weren't entirely pleasant. He had missed the way Severus could immerse himself in a book, the way he was able to obsessively research a topic, the way he had sacrificed everything to save the wizarding world from a terrible fate.

Remus hoped he would be able to talk to Severus later. Knowing the man, Remus knew he could have that hope crushed any time.

 

Dinner was a relaxed event. The dragon tamers were a rough lot and the food was in that direction too. Steak and potatoes and Butterbeer; a bit of salad and brown bread. Simple and well made. Nobody seemed to notice when Charlie came in, carrying Severus in his arms. They just kept eating. It was clear they were used to the sight. They seemed more interested in the deliciously smelling food and the foaming beer.

Remus watched Charlie put Severus down almost tenderly, making sure he was comfortable. Through the thin shirt Severus was wearing, Remus could see his muscular arms and shoulders. They had grown considerably. No wonder if Severus had to get around without the use of his legs. He didn't want to ask what had happened. He knew already. Nagini had happened; at least according to Harry. Whether it had been the poison or the bite didn't matter.

Charlie flopped down in the chair next to Remus'. 'I'd like you to let him lead the squadron,' Charlie said, tossing his head in Severus' direction. 'He's the best rider we have.'

'But--' Remus said.

'Trust me,' Charlie interrupted. 'He rides that dragon as if he was born on it, amazingly enough. He was never good with a broom.'

'I know,' Remus said. 'That is why I really don't understand...'

'When we got Bird, Severus was the one who cured his wing. The salve he made healed it well. Otherwise Bird wouldn't have been flying again. It seems the dragon understands. He won't let others than Severus close--he allows me only when I help Severus with the saddle,' Charlie explained, obviously discontent that his abilities as a dragon tamer was inferior to those of the former Potions master.

Remus didn't say anything. He just looked at Charlie. He would tell him what he needed to be told. Remus was still too polite to ask the uncomfortable, rude questions.

'He was worse than Bird when he landed here, Severus. I was at the Burrow at the time, and I have no idea why he chose this place. My colleagues say he Port-keyed in, bleeding and almost dead from the blood loss.' Charlie took a large bite of the buttered bread before he continued. 'Snape... He doesn't speak. He hasn't said anything about why he came. He just stayed here and none of us wanted to ask a disabled man to find himself another place to live, not after what he did for us against Lord Voldemort. All he said, Snape, was that he wanted to stay, and that nobody should be told he was here. He's been here ever since.'

Remus looked at Snape who sat next to Charlie. There was no doubt he could hear what Charlie said; the black eyes were alive and expressing interest. Remus couldn't stop himself from cocking an eyebrow questioningly.

Severus just looked at him, one corner of his mouth twitching, the moment before a smile would appear. The eyes, however, were still cold and arrogant. Some things never changed.

 

After dinner, Remus was left to his own company when the men went on with their duties. He strolled around the small group of roughly made wood cabins; it made him think of a trip he had been to with his parents when he was very young; before Fenrir Greyback had happened. The forest was warm and the firs had this wonderful scent of spices and warm earth. A dragon flew over the sky; its golden scales blazed red, bright yellow and dark pink: reflecting the rays of the setting sun. The wind was nothing but a soft breeze; dragonflies were playing with light and wind over the nearby stream that clucked merrily on its way down the mountain.

It was a beautiful, rough spot, the camp. It fitted the dragons and their caretakers very well. Remus wasn't sure how Severus Snape fitted into this. Clearly, Snape did not have that problem. As the chameleon he was, he had adapted and managed. Somehow, Remus understood why he hadn't returned to the British wizarding world. It hadn't really treated him with any noticeable respect. Remus found himself guilty of making the same mistake.

Remus walked past an open window in one of the larger cabins. He could hear a voice from inside. Charlie. He hadn't planned to spy, but somehow the softness of Charlie's voice and the sight of pale white skin before a blanket covered it made Remus look. Charlie had a hand under the blanket, clearly caressing Severus' crotch. Remus stopped breathing for a second.

Then Severus shook his head and with a firm grip removed Charlie's hand.

'It was just an offer, Severus. You know I don't mean anything with it. Just... release for you.'

Severus said something so low that Remus couldn't hear. He shook his head again, then smiled at Charlie. It looked as if the sun had caressed the ugly face for a moment; a soft smile that reached the black eyes, making the look warm and inviting instead of dead and cold.

Charlie got up, smoothed the blanket and arranged his trousers. 'You know I'd like to,' he said quietly. 'You're still a very attractive man.'

Severus just let out a choked cough that almost reminded Remus of laughter.

Remus hurried back to his own quarters, feeling very much as if he had seen something that he wasn't supposed to - which was exactly what he had. He sank down in a chair. He hadn't meant to spy on Charlie and Snape. The problem was that he couldn't stop replaying what he had seen in his mind; Charlie's hand moving under the thin blanket; Severus' burning eyes. Remus found a bottle of Firewhisky and downed a glass. It made him cough.

He realised he had never seen Snape as a sexual being. He had never wanked over him, never imagined him naked (on the contrary: he had tried to forget everything about the day Sirius and James had stripped the greasy git of his underwear), never looked at him in the shower.

Never seen the black eyes burning as they had for Charlie.

Never felt envious like he did that instant.

Remus downed another Firewhisky and felt a bit dizzy. He didn't stop thinking about Snape.

 

Some time and another Firewhisky later, Charlie walked in. He didn't even bother to knock. 'Severus wants to see you,' Charlie said, grinning. 'You are supposed to go "ooh" and feel honoured. His Majesty rarely cares to see anybody at all. He likes the dragons better than people, he says.'

'He never liked any of us much,' Remus stated with a sudden clarity. 'I think he would have been on the other side, had it not been for his promise to Albus.'

'Lucius' lapdog, you mean?'

'I doubt it. He never was someone to pet and take care of.' Snape had been very close to Lucius, however. How close, Remus had no idea. Actually, he had no idea if Severus really swung that way, or if Charlie was just a fling, a substitute for the women who didn't seem to be present in the dragon reserve.

'Not even in his current state. He's quite capable getting around using spells.' Charlie looked out the window, at Snape's cabin. 'I sometimes wonder why he allows me to touch him at all.'

'You are... er-' Remus hesitated and blushed slightly. He didn't know why it suddenly was so important to know.

'No. We're not lovers. He just has needs like any other man. It doesn't mean anything. It is just... pleasure.' Charlie looked utterly unperturbed by the question. The dragon tamers were, if nothing else, practical people. He grinned. 'Are you interested? You have some back story, the two of you.'

'No. Yes!' Remus had no idea where that came from. But he realised he had thought of nothing else but Severus Snape from the moment he saw the familiar shape riding a dragon so forcefully and competently high up on the sky. It didn't matter they had never liked each other much, or that Remus had no idea what to do with the sudden attraction. He had a life at home--a life ruled by bias and prejudice and the moon, but nevertheless a life. He couldn't afford to even think of being attracted to someone like Severus Snape. His life was complicated enough as it was.

'For being a Dark Creature you are sometimes remarkably cowardly,' Charlie said bluntly and with far too much insight. 'Shag him and get on with it. How hard can it be?'

'Er-' Remus said again. 'I don't do casual.'

'Well, then suggest to him you want to do it on a daily basis.' Charlie shook his head and crossed the sun-tanned muscular arms over his broad chest. 'Werewolves really are slow, or is it just you?'

Remus let his eyes slide over Charlie. If Severus turned that down; a brilliant mind, gorgeous body, a kind and caring man, then what chances would Remus ever have? 'I'll go talk to him,' Remus said. 'I hope you have counter-spells against whatever he is in the mood to do.'

'Good boy,' Charlie said and left.

 

The door to Severus' cabin was open. Remus knocked softly at the door frame and went inside. The cabin was light and cosy, with soft, deep chairs and a large blue sofa on which Charlie had placed the paralysed man. Severus sat, leaning against the armrest, the sun making his hair shine almost blue in the light. The fresh air had done him good; he looked better and less pallid; like a plant that had finally got enough sun and air.

Severus seemed to be naked under the thin blanket. It was July, it was hot; no wonder the man didn't want to wear much.

'Hello, Severus. It is nice to see you again,' Remus said, not mentioning the fact that the wizarding world believed Severus to be dead.

'Ah, Dumbledore's pet wolf.' Severus' voice was nothing but a weak whisper.

'Thank you, I am fine.' Remus did not want to fight. 'And you?' Remus went inside, stepping over to the sofa Severus sat on.

'Even more flawed, as you see.' Severus' voice which had once been dark velvet and spicy wine was now nothing but the whisper of silk over skin. He slid a hand over a pattern of ragged scars on his neck. 'Nagini.' Severus waved his hand to make Remus sit down on the corner of a sturdy coffee table next to him. Obviously so he did not have to speak too loudly.

'Harry suspected something like that. All the blood.' Remus heart bled too. The late events of the war had turned out to be yet another punishment for somebody who had worked so hard to make Lord Voldemort fall.

'Why are you here?' Severus was more direct and impolite than he had been. Words seemed to hurt him.

Remus wondered how serious the damage on the vocal cords were. 'Charlie told you already. Why do you want me to tell you again?' Remus could feel the wolf wake up. Severus' presence was usually enough, that Remus had experienced through the years, and the man's almost provocative way of expressing himself did not make it better.

'Because I can.' Severus' eyes shone. Remus got the explicit impression that he was goaded, provoked. And that Severus enjoyed to do so.

'You seem awfully sure of yourself, Severus.' Remus smiled; a not entirely kind smile. The wolf was striding inside him, and it showed in the flash of white teeth. 'Maybe I don't want to play your game.'

'When was the last time someone cared to play games with you, wolf? You are not tired of all the politeness at home yet?' Severus' voice almost disappeared, as if speaking a few words were too much for him. 'All the kind distance from people who need to be nice to you because you are a hero. Despite they would rather see you tugged safely away in a werewolf reserve.'

'Are you volunteering? Playing games.' Remus tried to push the wolf back, but it was awake, widely awake. With only a few days left before full moon, it was hard. Lord, had Severus always been so apt at making him lose control? Remus was sure he was out of habit; he had made it a question of pride never to let Severus' rude behaviour get to him. That was before he died, of course.

'I saw you. Outside.' Severus smirked. 'Watching. You wanted it. Wanted to touch me where Charlie did.'

'I...' He hadn't meant to. It was just that Severus had looked so...

'I saw the look in your eyes. I didn't think you had it in you. That you liked men. Last time I saw you you had that clumsy Auror attached to you.' Severus' voice felt like a lure. The soft whisper held a power the dark velvet had never had.

The wolf did not want to stay quiet any longer. 'Dora is dead!' Remus sneered, not caring about politeness. 'Do not bring her into this, Severus Snape, or I'll-'

'Or you'll what?' Severus interrupted. 'You never dared do what you really wanted, Remus Lupin.' Severus suddenly had a sultry look that Remus contrary to rage, inner wolves and impoliteness found utterly irresistible. 'Wasn't it due time you did what you liked, and not what the people around you think you should do?'

'If you put it that way,' Remus growled and kissed Severus bloody Snape ferociously.

Good Lord! He should have done this years ago, maybe even at Hogwarts, when Severus had been this bookish enigma, dark and slender and damned attractive in his ugliness. How could Remus have wasted so much time on not kissing Severus Snape senseless? Severus' mouth was warm and soft and delicious; a slight taste of tea and cinnamon. Remus moaned as Severus pulled him closer with powerful arms, against a chest that definitely had developed quite a bit from physical exercise.

It was strange that Severus did not fight. He just melted into Remus' embrace, let him kiss and touch, and Merlin, Severus' nipples were hard and lovely under Remus' fingers. Before Remus had caught up with what his body and the wolf were busy doing, Severus had unbuttoned his shirt, and those long, slender hands were drawing sharp lines on his back; nails scratching lightly over his spine. Remus was hard already; his cock pressed against the fabric of his Muggle jeans, wanting out, the same way the wolf wanted out.

'Bed's in there.' Severus' voice was barely audible now. He tilted his head in the direction of a door in the far left corner of the room. 'Carry me.'

'God, Severus!' Remus hesitated for a moment. There were implications in this he couldn't comprehend.

'Are you going to stay a coward all your life?' He silken voice held a tone of mocking in it.

As it was, Remus wasn't.

 

He put Severus down on the bed carefully, straightening out the useless legs on the duvet. 'How... I mean...' Remus wasn't inexperienced when it came to having sex with a man, but Severus' condition meant that Remus felt a bit insecure about the technicalities.

Severus reached for him, pulling him down in a warm, hot kiss. 'Behind me. Push my leg up.'

Severus had Remus' jeans open before he could do anything, and the thin hand that wrapped around his hard cock made Remus stop thinking at all. If Severus wanted it, Remus had intended to give him what he asked for. Remus pulled shoes and socks and jeans off almost in one movement.

The bed was soft, and Severus' body silken like his voice. He smelled of fresh air and fir needles. Remus allowed the wolf to revel in the spicy scent, burying his nose just behind Severus' ear. Firmly, Remus moved Severus a bit, turning him so he could have free access to the narrow arse. Remus caressed Severus' waist, the slender hips, the long legs that still were gorgeous, despite the disability. As spell was whispered; searching fingers slipped inside Severus' hole. Remus moaned softly against Severus' skin as he aligned himself against Severus' tall shape. Tilting his head so he could offer his mouth to the wolf and its master, Severus arched his beautiful neck and there was no way Remus could stop himself from licking it, biting it, worshipping the long line of suntanned skin as he slowly slid inside the warm channel.

Moaning, Severus reached back, pulling Remus closer. 'Make me feel something, wolf,' he whispered, his voice disappearing in Remus' moans. 'I want to feel you inside me.'

Remus was almost drowning in the sensation of Severus. It was as if his world had turned around, all the hate and the contempt the man had felt for Remus was suddenly turned into sexual energy. All the reservation and the buttoned distance had gone, and left was this wonderful man who even with his ruined body dared demand pleasure and closeness. Remus knew exactly how to make Severus _feel_. He let the wolf take over, let it follow its instincts, because giving Severus pleasure was suddenly about something base, more than just having a quick shag.

Remus did all he could to let Severus have so many impressions as possible. Fingers brushed over nipples, pinching them. Lips slid over soft skin, a tongue licking an earlobe; teeth worrying skin. There was tenderness and roughness; pain and pleasure. For a moment, Remus was in doubt whether Severus' paralysis had affected his ability to come, but a few deep thrusts and a hand wrapped around Severus' cock put that notion to rest. Severus' delicious, soft moans did it for Remus as well: with a deep growl he bit Severus' shoulder and came.

'Merlin...' Remus kissed Severus' neck, and wrapped his arms around him. Severus still had difficulties breathing.

'Mmm,' Severus just managed, entangled his fingers with Remus' and fell asleep.

Remus was awake for some time, still rather clueless to what had lead to this. He had felt surprise and happiness when he realised Severus wasn't dead. Then there had been the odd tension between them and later: attraction. It was hate and loss and longing, and maybe something that had been buried, kept dormant, for a very long time. Could it really be that Severus had been both appalled and attracted to him all this time?

Remus gave up. He was tired, well-shagged, and with a wonderful man in his arms. He, too, drifted off to sleep.

 

The next days, as Charlie decided who were going to Scotland with the squadron, Remus and Severus' one night stand turned into a two night stand, and even a fourth and fifth. Nothing was said; Severus just let one of his eyebrows make a high arch on his brow; a crooked smile grace his thin lips, as if to ask Remus whether he dared take the challenge once more. The hot summer nights were endless: light and warm. All of them were spent in Severus' arms, and Remus feared for the day he had to leave the dragon reserve.

Severus, however, was still the same brooding man. He seemed only to live when he was flying with Bird or when he was crying his orgasm out in Remus' arms. Otherwise, he kept to himself; he rarely spoke to anyone. If it was because it was too difficult, or because he didn't want to, Remus had no idea. An enigma. That was what Severus Snape was.

A week after Remus' arrival, Charlie came to see him. 'We're ready to leave tomorrow.' Charlie smiled. 'I have asked Severus to join the squadron. It is time he returns to the wizarding world.'

'Does he want to?' Remus put aside the book he had been reading and leaned against the oak he had been sitting under to stay out of the burning midday sun. The leaves cast a pattern of lace-shaped shadows on his face. 'He cannot take Bird with him to stay.' Remus found it cruel that the one--or one of two, to be true--thing that brought Severus pleasure should be taken away from him.

'I don't know. I'll talk to him later.' Charlie frowned. 'You don't seem overly fond of the idea. I thought you and he had an... agreement.'

'Ah,' Remus said. 'I agree to shag him, and he agrees not to snap at me. That is about it,' he said bluntly, feeling the wolf rise inside him. 'I don't think I am anything but release to him, to be honest.' Remus felt an emptiness inside at his own words. He realised the strange, silent relationship was something he wanted. Not only for a week.

'To be honest, I think you are wrong,' Charlie said. and put his hands in the pockets of the dragonhide trousers. 'Severus hasn't been this happy for a long time. You must be doing something right. He even took it rather calmly that you had to run off for a while during full moon.'

It _had_ actually been a surprise. Remus had had Wolfsbane, of course. Brought with him from home and kept under stasis, the potion had kept him sane - and Severus calm. 'I think he is just allowing himself this because he knows I am going back. No strings attached and all that.' Remus' voice held a tinge of sadness. He had reached a point where he wouldn't mind strings.

'He might not say much,' Charlie disagreed. 'He is not the man he once was, Remus. He might seem harder and more closed, but...' Charlie paused and pursed his mouth. 'He is like a plant, you know. Nurse him, and he will grow. He is not really used to kindness or love. You have just been here for a week, and I see change. Don't underestimate yourself.'

'And now you're an expert on former Potions masters and werewolf-haters?' Remus grinned. Charlie had always been a no-nonsense man. A bit on the direct side.

'Yeah, actually I am, since he's been here for over a year, and I have been the one to assist him. You're a fool if you don't trust me. He is not going to say anything by himself. Pride and all... he is after all famous for having detested you for decades.'

Remus nodded. Pride and arrogance... that was Severus Snape. The man probably didn't know the word "apology".

'Promise me you'll do something about it. ' Charlie grinned; a wide boyish smile. 'I'm bloody envious. You both deserve to have some happiness, and if I can't have him...'

 

Remus _did_ decide to do something. That evening--his last before they would return to Hogwarts to set up a camp for the dragons and their riders--he went to see Severus. The invitation had been nothing more than the raise of an eyebrow, the slight curl of a lip. So, as the birds were singing their serenades to the setting sun and the forest dimmed and the stars were lit on the pale black summer sky, Remus went to take a risk.

They made love. It was the usual slow, intense pleasure that was needed for Severus to feel. Somehow, it was not only the physical sensation of what they did, but also the mental. Maybe nobody had cared to make love to Severus Snape before. It was those moments, when they both lay sated and relaxed, that Remus thought there might be something more than just the pleasure.

'I am going to miss this,' he whispered softly, his warm breath ghosting Severus' neck.

'Yes,' Severus whispered back. 'So will I.'

'Can't we just forget about all that has happened between us?' Remus' thumb was drawing circles on Severus' naked hip.

Severus froze under his touch. 'Forget?'

'Not about this. But about everything before this. About the hurt and the... prejudice and... the wolf. Just... start anew?'

'Oh,' Severus said. His voice was neutral. 'Why?' His hand lay, quiet and warm over Remus'.

'When you return to Britain...' Remus hesitated. He took a deep breath. 'When you return with the dragons... I would like you to stay.' This was hard, and Severus wasn't helping.

Severus turned as well as possible, his eyes black and warm and sad. 'Stay?'

Remus decided that there was nothing he could lose. That moment he _knew_ with a deep certainty what he really wanted. 'I'm in lo-'

'Don't.' Severus' voice was sharp, loud. 'I am not going.'

Remus felt as if somebody had stabbed his heart with something sharp. 'This is goodbye, then?' The longing for what they could have had was ripping his insides, worse than the wolf had ever done. The wolf howled and raged, wanted Remus to claim and take, and only Remus' self-control held him back. Severus could not be won by force.

'This is goodbye.'

 

The next morning, Remus prepared to Disapparate. The dragons would arrive two days later; after all it took even the largest dragon to fly the distance from Romania to Scotland. Severus was nowhere to be seen. Charlie, on the other hand, was. Remus wanted to cry, but didn't. He had been hit harder than he thought. Falling in love was not something he had done before.

'I'm sorry,' Charlie said. 'I hoped you could drag him out of the inertia.'

'He told you?' Remus was surprised. He didn't think Severus ever told anyone about his feelings.

'No. You know him. But he looks like shit, and he was a hundred times more snarky this morning. I figured out that whatever had happened between you hadn't been something positive.'

'I wanted him to come with me...' Remus' voice was dull and empty.

'His life is here. Bird keeps his body working. He couldn't move much for the first months. Riding that bloody dragon helps him.' Charlie sighed. 'I can understand why he wouldn't want to... even if I think he should. Maybe he just got used to life here, where no one cares who he spied for and why.' Charlie's face lit up. 'Why can't you go here instead? Really, Remus... it is not because he doesn't want you. He... maybe he's insecure?'

'Insecure? Severus?' Even before Remus had said the word, he knew it was how it was: the sharpness and the cold exterior covered a deep insecurity. 'I don't know... I could come back.' Remus rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. 'But I won't throw myself at him. The next draw has to be his.'

'Far too polite, still.' Charlie patted Remus' back. 'You should let that wolf of yours out a bit. Might help.'

'I'll try,' Remus said, just before he Disapparated, suddenly smiling. 'If I ever get the chance.'

'Good man,' Charlie said, just as Remus disappeared with a loud pop.

 

The camp was set up, with tents and cages and a nice campfire. Hogwarts was ready for the dragons to arrive. Remus had withdrawn to the Astronomy Tower; he wasn't really in the mood to watch the powerful creatures and their riders land and settle in. The memory of his nights with Severus was still too painful. He wondered if the pain would ever go away.

Remus was studying the eastern sky. The sun was rising, and far, far out little black spots appeared on the clear morning sky. The spots grew fast, little spots becoming coloured, gleaming, moving dragons. The v-shaped squadron was flying high, their riders invisible, hidden behind the large bodies of the giant creatures. The formation came in over the nearby mountain, close enough for Remus to tell them apart. He stood there, on the tower's platform, the wind ripping his robe and pulling his hair, watching them approach.

The squadron leader was a large Welsh Green. The dragon hovered on the upwind for a while; the sunlight playing over its metallic scales, making the green turn blue and turquoise and forest green where the shadow of the huge wings hit. It was a beautiful creature: young and agile; its beauty only marred by a long visible scar running down one of the giant wings. Remus gasped as the dragon rider made the Welsh Green dive so fast against the tower's top that it looked like a lime-green, blurred arrow. Just before it passed the tower, it screamed, a high dissonant cry, and turned, faster than the wind, throwing itself into a loop that took it high up on the tall Scottish summer sky.

From high above, a black-clad silhouette raised a hand in greeting before the dragon and the rest of the squadron flew over the Forbidden Forest.

Remus just stood there for a while, his face turned up, wind and tears and sun streaming over his cheeks.

He had never felt happier in his life.


End file.
